


Tails of Saiyajin Woes

by selim_nagisokrov



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 02:18:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selim_nagisokrov/pseuds/selim_nagisokrov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human technology did nothing but ruin his life…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tails of Saiyajin Woes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z. I am not making any money off this piece of fiction

On the eve of his twentieth moon cycle, Vegeta received a gift from his late friends of Saiyajin Protective Sheaths (SPS) as a joke. None of them had really found a suitable mate since the destruction of their planet, leaving them the last Saiyajins in the universe – until he found one on Earth who had mistaken himself as an Earthling for so long. Upon finding that man married, with children, and quite happy dying every five months to protect people, Vegeta had found himself falling into some kind of despair. Nappa and Raditz had had each other. Kakarot, the idiot, had his weak human wife (never mind the fact the man probably never had real Saiyajin sex, but neither had Vegeta so that was beside the point). After five earth years, Vegeta had found his own SPS gift among the casings of his old things, safely kept by Bulma's odd father.

A week later Vegeta, a proud man, finally lost his virginity – the Saiyajin way. Rough, painful, and passionate sex that left both him and the receiver joined in forbidden pleasure that no earthling could ever feel. Upon returning to society, Vegeta had heard stories of earthquakes and tsunamis caused religious fanatics to believe it was the end of the world. He knew he was good and just hearing that his passion caused enough random plate tectonics to move was enough to make him feel happier.

Of course, all good things had to come to an end. SPS's were only good once and the prince had rediscovered the Saiyajin libido. After a few weeks, his supply of protection was gone and his new mate swallowed his pride to buy earth protection. They were different around his cock. Snug, but the different material was a constant reminder of something light and flimsy. They worked though, considering Vegeta didn't partake in his more aggressive desires with them. He just didn't trust the latex to withstand what SPSs could.

And he was right. A mew from his mate, the stretching of strong legs and a come-hither face was all it took for Vegeta's resolve to break and the condom to do so also. His mate was the first to realize something was different – that he was wet and, to both their horrors, stuck.

The point behind SPSs wasn't to stop semen from entering submissive mates (though they did do that), but to stop from the tender insides of Saiyajins from swallowing the head of the penis and locking both bodies into place. Normally, when it started to happen, the foreign barrier wouldn't allow flesh-to-flesh contact and the dominant could slide back out after doing his business. This time, when aiming for that tight spot that got his mate the scream, the latex tip broke and the head of Vegeta's penis escaped its confines, locking into his mate's body as he came.

Now, finally free from after a week of forced union, Vegeta had rushed to the same convenience store that he bought those god awful condoms, but on another mission all together.

The sales clerk gave him a look when he dropped the item and a case of the planet's strongest alcoholic beverage (that would likely have no affect on him) on her register, but rang these items up nonetheless. Exchanging money with her, Vegeta carried his bags out the store, ignored the looks his mind thought were being given to him, and made his way back towards the desolate dunes that he'd left his mate to sulk.

"Got them." Vegeta dumped the sole item of his quest on his mate and grabbed the bottle of vodka and drank it straight from the bottle. It burned down his throat, but the bitter taste of strong liquor made him feel better as his mate disappeared from sight.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" His mate whispered.

"For humans," Vegeta growled, "it would take longer. Saiyajin bodies work fast. As soon as I was locked in your body, your eggs were direct route to the sperm. Conception was immediate and imminent." Fiddling with the box for the pregnancy test, Vegeta waited patiently for Gohan to come back over. The smell of urine caused him to tense, but it wasn't enough to cause him to run. As long as he was chancing alcohol poisoning he was good.

Another gulp of vodka and Gohan returned to sit next to him, the thick test in hand as they waited. "How long does it say it'll take?"

Going through the box, Vegeta pulled out the instructions. "A while." He glared. "This is Earths fault."

"Why didn't you pull out immediately when you felt it rip?" Gohan hissed.

"I was already in it too deep. You try to pull out when those tight muscles are milking your cock." Vegeta grunted. Gohan moved the pregnancy test in his hands. "If we were in Vegeta-Sei we wouldn't have to worry about any of this. Those SPSs are top notch, Earth protection is so—" His voice waivered in though, "flimsy."

"Most humans can't tear straight through the condom."

"And I do believe that they're unable of being trapped and milked by their bitch." Vegeta rubbed his temples before taking the bottle to his lips to nurse from it. No wonder his father had taken up drinking at an early age, it made the thoughts of possibly messing up your life easier to handle. Beside him, Gohan curled his legs under his chin, the pregnancy test still in his hands. It was a shared agreement between the two that both of them were at fault. Vegeta should have pulled out when he felt the thin piece of latex rip. Better yet, once he ran out of SPSs, he should have called it quits with Gohan. The boy was half-Saiyajin! The knowledge that he was chancing any kind of pregnancy should have been enough to stop him from continuing his indiscretions.

"My mom is going to kill me." Gohan grabbed his legs.

"Ch." Vegeta placed the vodka bottle on the ground. "You're a hundred times more powerful than she."

"So was my dad and Piccolo-sensei." The mirth in Gohan's voice was obvious, Vegeta shook his head. "If I'm pregnant…Where does that leave us?"

Vegeta leaned back, letting the warm rays beat against his face. He had spent the last week of being locked with the teenager wondering about that. It wasn't in his blood to abandon his mate.

He wasn't going to lie, he  _liked_  Gohan. More than he should, actually. The only thing stopping him from chomping down on that pretty neck and letting the world know he owned the boy was the fact that Gohan was still a child. Not older than fourteen, the boy wasn't even at age for a proper Saiyajin mating. In fact such a union would be considered scandalous. Vegeta hadn't cared when he first sought acquisition from the boy, at the time his mind was only filled with thoughts of sex. No where else on that planet was he going to find someone capable of keeping up with his powerful thrusts without breaking.

And Gohan…fuck, the boy was only at that age that he knew one thing: it was sex. The child was so scared of his own internal strength; he'd probably die a virgin out of fear of hurting his partner. With Vegeta, it wasn't a question of if they'd hurt each other, it was a matter of when it would happen.

Primal urge was the center of any good Saiyajin mating. There wasn't a shortage between Vegeta and Gohan. Both were nearly parallel in strength (only nearly since Gohan possibly had more power than Vegeta, but his persistent fear of hurting anyone or anything often stopped him from tapping into that strength).

"I'll take care of you."

Vegeta frowned when those words escaped his mouth. How was he supposed to "take care" of Gohan? He didn't exist on Earth. He was no more than a common beggar striving in some Earth Woman's workshop.

The words however made Gohan smile, his hands wrapped around his stomach. "It's a shame then that I'm not pregnant." With a flick of his wrist, he showed Vegeta the negative on the test before climbing to his feet. "I have to go home; it's already been so long. Um…" rubbing the back of his hand before rubbing his neck, Gohan's eyes made contact elsewhere. "N, next week, again?" After the whole scare Vegeta hadn't expected Gohan to ask so soon.

It made him smile. "Sure. Same place."

With a bright smile, Gohan rushed forward, placing a wet kiss on Vegeta's lips before flying away from the area. Shaking his head, Vegeta kicked the remains of the pregnancy test. Human technology did nothing but ruin his life….

…More so when a few months later Gohan began to plump up nicely around the middle.

Yeah, Vegeta really hated humans and their worthless technology.


End file.
